View Full Version : someone Found Gollum Dead in Panama

09-17-2009, 05:42 PM

Pretty quiet summer monster season this year, right? Wrong, mi amigo. A distant cousin of the Montauk Monster emerged from its cave in Panama. Then terrified kids beat it to death.

According to reports in Panama, the teenagers spotted the creature crawling out of a cave while playing in the town of Cerro Azul north of Panama City.
Fearing for the safety as it moved towards them, the youths claim they attacked the beast with sticks before throwing its lifeless body into a pool of water.

All it wanted was to play with the children. And now this. A sad statement on our fear of the unknown.

But at least our new friend will leave a legacy. As Telemetro noted in the original (translated) report, "while some say it may be a being from another planet, others simply believe that is an animal."

Some say it's a sloth. We say: It's a lost friend

this your weird end of the day news people

09-17-2009, 05:45 PM
this has got to be BS

09-17-2009, 06:10 PM
The hell is that thing??

09-17-2009, 06:20 PM
It's a hoax

Blue Moon
09-17-2009, 06:28 PM
Why do i find that cute? XD

09-17-2009, 06:43 PM
At least it's modeling in it's death.

09-17-2009, 06:50 PM
im calling hoax until i see an article with a reliable source.

09-17-2009, 07:07 PM
If that thing came out of a cave crawling towards me I'd beat it to death too!

And I concur, this thing doesn't look real enough for me to believe just yet.

09-17-2009, 07:10 PM
It's a hoax

No shit. Everyone knows Gollum died falling into a pool of lava at the base of Mount Doom.

I seem to recall a wonderful 3-part documentary on this.

09-17-2009, 07:37 PM
lol, what the fuck ?

http://img156.imageshack.us/img156/3814/wtfitsseuss.jpg (http://img156.imageshack.us/i/wtfitsseuss.jpg/)

09-17-2009, 07:41 PM
The Chupacabras!

09-17-2009, 08:31 PM
what a bunch of mean kids. Gollum only wanted to share his "precious" with the kids :(

09-17-2009, 09:03 PM

09-17-2009, 09:39 PM
Sorta looks like a younger ET, like...MUCH younger. Guess ET won't be phonin' home. But someone's gonna have to call his parents...

09-17-2009, 09:42 PM
Well that is definitely fabricated. But the story made me bawww, he only wanted friends.


09-17-2009, 10:53 PM
^ OMG I laughed at that Dr. Seuss thing for like 10 seconds! Anyway KFI 640(AM) talked about this, but they don't know if it's a hoax or not either.

09-18-2009, 12:51 AM
Hoax or not: look at that tender and soft meat supply.

09-18-2009, 07:42 AM
Furless creature... Hmm...
Can't think of anything else than some mammal's (maybe human's) mutation. I doubt this is an alien.
Either way it was idiotic to kill something that looks suspicious -_-

09-18-2009, 07:50 AM
Either way it was idiotic to kill something that looks suspicious -_-

you can't deny human nature to deny anything beyond normal.

09-18-2009, 03:08 PM
Another Hongfire member hits the bucket...

09-18-2009, 05:58 PM
Another Hongfire member hits the bucket...

Hahaha, yeah, that's what thirty plus years living in a dark basement playing hentai games'll do for your looks.... Heh, and that one's kinda cute, you should see an UGLY one...

09-18-2009, 06:25 PM
If people can't tell what this actually is they need help there is even one frame where you can still see hair that somebody did not remove completely. Just picture this covered with long wiry hair that's sometimes is green and moldy. Then picture it in a tree moving really slow with one large claw on each front paw and you get the idea of what this was. Somebody just shaved or removed most of it's hair in some way. I am guessing chemically based on the facial swelling. As for the beating with sticks part. No bruises or wounds means no beating. What ever removed most of it's hair most likely killed it probably from drowning and the chemical it's self.

09-18-2009, 06:32 PM
somebody has way too much roach... er time on their hands

Karis Fra Mauro
09-19-2009, 12:36 PM
Michael Jackson's attempt to fake his own death and start over in Panama, fails miserably...

09-19-2009, 12:39 PM
Jesus! I think I pissed myself...

I thought the sea cow was scary!

A LaZy PaNdA
09-19-2009, 01:01 PM
This was posted on /x/ a while back...

Apparently, it's a dead sloth. In the first image (Top left quadrant) you can see a sloth claw. :p