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The Theory of Evolution

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  • The Theory of Evolution

    There's no such thing. No. Such. Thing. I'm dead fucking serious. The more I look at people the more I begin to be convinced that no animal could have possibly had the distinction of evolving into man.

    Humans don't come from animals. Humans turn into animals. First it's just the hooves, then they grow a snout, and next thing you know, they're down on all fours rooting the earth with it. I have seen it happen with my own eyes and I am seeing it everywhere right now.

    Evolution is a misconception. In practice, the actual phenomena should be called devolution. God first created the most flawed, disastrous, unworkable piece of hardware called the human brain. Those who still cling to their human nature fail to realize the futility of trying to maintain a form whose only function is to expend an excess amount of neurotic activity outside the bounds of survival and reproduction. The few times that its neurons manage to fire properly in that regard, the human advances further into his bestial nature. First it walks on its knuckes, then it crawls, then it grows a fish tail and swims into the water, then it sheds all that unnecessary skeletal and cellular structure until it becomes the most perfect being, the virus.

    That's it, I'll start doing what everybody else on this planet is trying to do - quit being a human being. I'll start by emulating the behavior of a duck. From now on I won't even post any coherent replies, but instead quack. Quack quack. Quack quack quack quack.
    When reading my posts, please imagine hearing them in Norio Wakamoto's Kaneto Shiozawa's voice.

  • #2
    I got a little chuckle out of this.

    I find it funny also thinking how many people will interpret it in many ways.
    Sig removed. it's too big. And file size also too big for slower internet connection users.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Hayeate View Post
      There's no such thing. No. Such. Thing. I'm dead fucking serious. The more I look at people the more I begin to be convinced that no animal could have possibly had the distinction of evolving into man.

      Humans don't come from animals. Humans turn into animals. First it's just the hooves, then they grow a snout, and next thing you know, they're down on all fours rooting the earth with it. I have seen it happen with my own eyes and I am seeing it everywhere right now.

      Evolution is a misconception. In practice, the actual phenomena should be called devolution. God first created the most flawed, disastrous, unworkable piece of hardware called the human brain. Those who still cling to their human nature fail to realize the futility of trying to maintain a form whose only function is to expend an excess amount of neurotic activity outside the bounds of survival and reproduction. The few times that its neurons manage to fire properly in that regard, the human advances further into his bestial nature. First it walks on its knuckes, then it crawls, then it grows a fish tail and swims into the water, then it sheds all that unnecessary skeletal and cellular structure until it becomes the most perfect being, the virus.

      That's it, I'll start doing what everybody else on this planet is trying to do - quit being a human being. I'll start by emulating the behavior of a duck. From now on I won't even post any coherent replies, but instead quack. Quack quack. Quack quack quack quack.
      Is this in reaction to real-life interactions or interactions over the internet?

      Secondly, the comparison of humans to viruses has already been made roughly 10 years ago with The Matrix.
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      • #4
        Haha, that made me laugh.
        When I saw the thread title though, I was like "Oh, here we go. Another pointless forum argument."

        HF-YUSHY HF-TYPEMOON

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Fuchsin View Post
          Haha, that made me laugh.
          When I saw the thread title though, I was like "Oh, here we go. Another pointless forum argument."
          I think this one is more pointless, but meh... atleast it makes people chuckle.
          Sig removed. it's too big. And file size also too big for slower internet connection users.

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          • #6
            No, most of them are pointless. They don't go anywhere. Good for entertainment, and that's about it.

            HF-YUSHY HF-TYPEMOON

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Fuchsin View Post
              No, most of them are pointless. They don't go anywhere. Good for entertainment, and that's about it.
              it's only pointless if the forum members don't gain any knowledge from it which can be argued from each members viewpoint.
              Sig removed. it's too big. And file size also too big for slower internet connection users.

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              • #8
                the human brain is definitely not adapted for survival, that's for sure. we have like, three times the cephalization quotient of our nearest competitors? in memetic theory, people act like idiots because they copy each other. what a scientific break through. but while it's not exactly a part of evolutionary theory, memetics generally takes the evolutionary model for granted and absolutely relies on universal darwinism. so you see, evolution can account for peoples' moronic activities just fine.

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                • #9
                  hehehe, very funny, i like it.
                  Still, give evolution some credit. Spanish flue, AIDS, chicken flue are just some examples of evolution trying to find a good balance to keep all species about the same chances to survive. (the only problem is humans interfering with the process)

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                  • #10
                    Eh. This is one of Hayeate's threads and it doesn't mention Nuremberg, so you just have to know it's the real deal.

                    Now, the cool thing about homo so-called sapiens is that it has defeated the reproductive process known as natural selection. In the outside world, weak organisms die and become food for strong organisms instead of passing on their genetic heritage, thus ensuring that only the strongest and best suited individuals continue the species. People on the other hand, have an obsession with promoting the weakest and least deserving specimens for prefered procreational purposes. It would just be wrong to deny those village mongoloids the right to have a family, after all.

                    Humanity 6,711,016,772, Natural Selection 0 in a rout. What scientific theory will we take on next, I wonder?

                    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natural_selection

                    http://www.worldometers.info/

                    ja ne
                    Last edited by TSR; 11-30-2008, 09:05 AM. Reason: The dog ate my homework.

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                    • #11
                      Well then lets just pray to god to send a plague to wipe out a large percentage of humans like he did with small pox and the black plague.

                      If we weren't so concerned on keeping the idiots alive there would be far less people. All other animal species will kill their offspring if they have a problem.

                      Of course we are to civilized so we will be doomed by our kindness to give out health care to illegal immigrants and prisoners before citizens get the chance to have it.

                      It funny how kidness can eventually be your own downfall.

                      But that is the way humans are in today's society although if the population does grow to the predicted 11 billion+ in 2071 then I know alot of things are going to have to change.
                      Sig removed. it's too big. And file size also too big for slower internet connection users.

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                      • #12
                        You're still creating threads Hayeate?! I thought you've become a hermit and only comment on that which begs sarcasm.
                        Last edited by Athias; 11-30-2008, 09:27 AM.
                        "Ah yes, the 'Bob Loblaw Law Blog.' You, sir, are a mouthful."

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                        • #13
                          Best thread ever.

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                          • #14
                            Wow, funny coincidence evolution popped up in another thread too.

                            Look, I understand people are... well they're fucking stupid, selfish and often ignorant to the point of negligence (they don't even try to think most times) but uh, there are some people out there with common sense.

                            As for people screwing up the whole natural selection bit... I think the only thing I can attribute that to is ignorance again. People don't even look at what traits equal the best mate these days. If you wanna have sex, hey, there's a party down the street. Go find someone.

                            Largely I think people have just screwed up their priorities to the degree where it's borderline suicidal... as a species I guess.

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                            • #15
                              Evolution is a Fact

                              Natural selection and the like is a theory.

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